MESSAGE FROM PETE
March 2008

FROM THE METROPOLIS YOUTH & FAMILY MINISTRIES OFFICE

 Is it Love?

Part 3 of a 4 part Series

By Pete Sotiras, Director

Here’s the deal: love is not the butterflies, or the emotions caused by your sex drive.  Those emotions exist in the beginning of a relationship, but they will not last.  There are many people we are attracted to, but that doesn’t mean that love exists.  I’m sure we’ve all heard of the old adage, “love at first sight”.  Well, that’s not something truly possible because you haven’t had the chance to get to know the person yet.  If anything, it should be called, “attraction at first sight”.  Don’t get me wrong, attraction is important—it just can’t be the only thing or the most important thing you look for in someone because then it becomes superficial.  If the only reason you want to be with the person is because of looks, then you’re relationship does not have a good foundation.  You need more than that.  That’s why I constantly talk about having a friendship first. 

Love is an action.  It’s a verb.  It doesn’t happen to us.  It’s not some force that controls us but it’s a choice.  Many times we say that we’ve “fallen in love” as though we have no control over it.  When we say this, we sometimes say it and justify being with somebody that is not good for us.  They may be attractive, but if the person we’re with mistreats us, verbally abuses us, wants to change us (for the worst) and makes us compromise our values, love doesn’t exist, no matter how often the person says it.   

If you want to know what love is, open your Bible to 1 Cor. 13:4-8.  In these verses we read, “Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.”  Love is uplifting, it supports you, and it makes you believe in yourself.  Love makes you stronger as a person, it supports your values.  When you love someone, you don’t use them, but want them to grow and reach their potential.  When you love someone, you don’t “smother” them by trying to take up all their time.  You allow them to cultivate their other friendships as well.  Love exists when we allow the other person to better themselves in school, sports, and in their spiritual life.  If you want the perfect example of love, look no further than to Jesus Christ.  He is love incarnate.  He served others, washed the feet of His Disciples, and inspired them to strive for God’s Kingdom.  It is His example that is our reference for what love is and what love is not.

[Youth and their families can contact Pete at: sfyouth@sanfran.goarch.org.  You can also view and download this article from the Metropolis Youth webpage at: http://www.youth.sanfran.goarch.org/]