MESSAGE FROM PETE
January 2008

FROM THE METROPOLIS YOUTH & FAMILY MINISTRIES OFFICE

 A New Way to think about Love

Part 1 of a 4 part Series

By Pete Sotiras, Director

Another new year is upon us and so is the opportunity for new aspirations, new goals, new hopes, new dreams and new ways of looking at things.  One topic I challenge you to think differently about and that is popular among teenagers is dating—and more specifically, sex.  This is not surprising really—we are surrounded by sex in the media and in our society.  It’s something that is a very real challenge for all of us.  In this message and in the next three months, I would like to challenge you to think differently about sex and dating.

First off, God created the feelings of attraction that we feel for someone else.  They’re not bad feelings at all, but they’re meant to be channeled to the right person at the right time.  We all know that sex, according to the Church, is not only permissible, but a beautiful expression of love in the context of marriage.  But why is sex, and oral sex (which is still sex), not permitted prior to matrimony?  Everything society tells us is the opposite.  Shows like The Bachelor, Real World, or The Hills, tell us that anything goes—that sex is part of the process of getting to know someone.  The reality though is that sex tells us nothing about whether or not we should have someone as our boyfriend or girlfriend.  The reality is that sex is not a means to an end but an expression of love between a couple that already knows that they’re compatible and that is married.  What does it mean to be compatible?  Compatibility has nothing to do whether someone kisses well or is good in bed.  Compatibility means that two people have a friendship.  Two people that enjoy each other’s company, that laugh together, that have the same interests are compatible.  Compatibility is when two people have gotten to know each other without sex.  Ultimately, compatibility is when two people have the same beliefs (we’ll talk about that in part 3). 

The media has taken sex from its high honor in marriage and has degraded it—its devalued it and stripped it from its beauty.  The Evil One, the devil, does the same thing with us.  We are made in God’s image and likeness, and we are heirs of the Kingdom.  God created us to experience true joy and happiness—he created us for Paradise.  The devil tries to lie to us and tell us that we’re experiencing true love and happiness when we have sex before marriage.  That’s baloney.  Through sex, he wants to disrespect us—to devalue us, and strip us from our true beauty.  Outside of marriage, there is no guarantee that the person will stay with you.  There is no guarantee that the person loves you.  We must not lie to ourselves and say that sex is part of being in love.  We’re meant to experience sex with someone who cares for us, who enjoys our company, who values us for who we are, who believes in us, who respects us, and who loves being with us—all which is discovered without sex.  Basically, we should find someone who will treat us and love us as Jesus loves us.  We’re meant to be with someone who will die for us—just like Christ gave His life for us. When you find such a person, marry them.  If you’re not ready to marry, then you’re not ready for sex.  Wait to experience sex as it should be experienced—with the person God intends for you.