“I can’t figure it out,
there’s something about her…”
“I look at her and it makes
me proud,
“There’s something about
her…”
You’ve
probably heard these lyrics on the radio a
lot these days, since the artist who sings
this, Ne-Yo, has already had a few hits in
his career, and his newest album, “Year of
the Gentleman,” is again on the Billboard
and Amazon.com top-selling album lists.The song “Miss Independent” is
where these lyrics come from, and it is
being played frequently around the country
right now.
I admit, I’m not really up
on what people are listening to on the radio
right now, even though popular songs are
played everywhere- on TV, people’s car
radio, restaurants, department stores, etc.However, as I was doing some research
on popular music, this song happened to jump
out at me.It had a tune that was catchy, the
singer had a nice voice, but more than that,
the message it was getting across really
interested me.I don’t know what his other songs
are like, but in this one, Ne-Yo talks about
how the girl that’s got his attention has
a good job, she’s about to pay off her car
and her house, that she walks confidently,
and other “independent” things.“I look at her and it makes me
proud,” he sings in the middle of the
song, “… there’s something about
her.”
Today, in a lot of music,
movies, and television shows, love interests
are shown in a way that disrespects the
other person- both women and men are
represented in the story or song as objects.They are not shown as an individual
soul for someone to get to know, but a sex
object for someone to obtain.While attraction is important, often
we are fooled by media into thinking that we
should place the most importance on just
physical attraction, as if this alone is
what makes a relationship work.In “Miss Independent,” however,
not one mention is made to a part of this
woman’s body or her clothing.The whole song is about the woman’s
confidence, what she’s done in her life,
and how Ne-Yo is attracted to it.
In the fourth century, Saint
John Chrysostom wrote many sermons that
talked about relationships between men and
women, and what a person should value in
their partner.In one of his sermons (collected in
the wonderful book “On Marriage and Family
Life”), he instructs husbands to praise
their wives on what
they can control, not on what they can’t
control.In other words, husbands should value above all else their
wife’s character, not how she looks.Saint John also says that if Christ
is kept at the center of this relationship,
this is how both partners will grow in love,
in Spirit, in their family, and in
everything that is most precious in life.I think this is incredibly important
advice whether you’re married, engaged, in
a serious relationship or just seeing
someone, especially today.Saint John’s advice relates
directly to Jesus’ words, “Seek first
the Kingdom of God, and all these things
will be added unto you.”(Matthew 6:33)God tells us that His Kingdom is
love, is respect, and is not selfishness or
ego.
You may or may not be
asking yourself what it is about him/her
that has caught your interest, he/she may or
may not “walk like the boss” or their
“bills are paid on time.”But if you focus on character,
personality, and what the other person
values in life, with God’s help and His
grace, you will always have a healthy
relationship.There’s something that rings very
true when you hear the words “Miss
Independent, that’s why I love her.”
