I’m thankful for many things in my life-
my wife, my family, my friends, health,
food, shelter, clothing, the freedom to
worship freely in our country. Is it
silly to say I’m thankful for love?
A little abstract, sure, but it’s true.
I’m thankful for the fact that I have
ended up with THE right girl. I am
thankful when I see friends of mine find
someone right for them, date, and get
married. Relationships are certainly
one of the most interesting aspects of our
life on earth, and healthy relationships can
truly be one of the greatest gifts God gives
us. November is a month where we
reflect on what we are thankful for, and
this is certainly something I feel I should
thank God for daily.
Last month, I shared some thoughts on what
love is, from a Christian perspective- about
meeting someone, being attracted to them
(and that butterflies-in-the-stomach thing).
This month, I want to discuss what is
commonly the “next step” following the
initial attraction- going out with someone.
It
usually goes something like this: you find
someone attractive, you want to spend time
with them, and if they say yes, the two of
you go to dinner, or a movie, or to do
something fun with a group of friends.
Hopefully along the way, you enjoy your
date, and either ask if you want to have
another date, or go your separate ways
because your personalities just weren’t
clicking. So is this what makes two
people “boyfriend/girlfriend?” I
think it takes a little more than just going
out somewhere, right? Obviously,
it’s not a simple answer, because it’s
not a simple subject. But there are a
few simple thoughts I have about dating that
might be beneficial to keep in mind.
Going
on dates with one person on a regular basis,
or being a “boyfriend” or a
“girlfriend,” means that you spend time
together in order to learn a little more
about yourself, and what kind of person you
gel with. There are unique qualities
about ourselves that we only begin to
understand in a relationship with the
opposite sex- and I’m not referring to
physical relations, but spending time and
even just conversing with the other person.
Dating gives us a unique opportunity to find
out just how generous or selfish, patient or
impatient, kind or mean-spirited we really
are, not what we think we are. Dating
gives us a right to learn more about
ourselves, about guys and girls, about
people. It gives us a right to enjoy
life from a new perspective. However,
like any relationship, there are ways that
we can take advantage of and even abuse
these rights.
Like
any relationship, we should go into dating
remembering of course, the golden rule:
“Do unto others as you would have them do
unto you.” (Luke 6:31, Matthew 7:12) If we
go into any relationship asking ourselves
“What can I do for this person?” rather
than “What can I get from this person?”
your relationship will go well, and you will
grow as a person. More important than
anything else, though, we have to remember
that we fully understand a person’s heart,
and true love, when we look at the other
person as a child of the Most High, a child
of God (Psalm 82:6). God has created
each of us in His image, which means each of
us is special. God loves that person,
and we have to try our best to love them the
same way He does. When we stop trying
to love is when the other person becomes a
mere object, and we cease respecting them,
and possibly even hurting them deeply.
When we acknowledge this, and keep Christ at
the center of a dating relationship, or any
relationship, we too will be thanking God
for this beautiful gift of love He has given
us.
